Tags
So why do I feel like I lost if I hit 50k 10 days ago? I proved that I can write more in a day than I ever thought I could – I had days where I wrote 6k and got to bed before midnight. I wrote my original goal of 3.3k even on days when I felt like my brain had been wrung dry, or on my work day (9 hours of being teacher make Ally something-something). I found out more about a character than I had ever knew existed and I had lots of fun during the whole process. I wrote some really great stuff! But I feel like I’ve failed because I’ve barely written a thing for 10 days.
I had, originally, intended to do 100k this month, which was why I had the goal of 3.3k a day. I lowered the monthly goal to 75k after I had an insane weekend of concerts and conferences and a birthday party and couldn’t bring myself to write because talking to my characters was too much socialization for me. Then I hit 50k and… I stopped. I could have forced the words out. I could have hit 75k. Heck, I could probably make it to 60k before midnight if I really just went for it right now. (That’s less than 1k an hour) But… nah. Part of me wanted to (and still wants to) and the other part of me is saying “No more. I want to do other things.” And that, in turn, feels like failing. Especially since my goal of 1k of edits a day lasted a whole day and it was the most god-awful experience of editing I’ve ever had. I feel like I have the worst case of writers block ever.
Maybe I should try the whole 8k before midnight. Maybe it’ll get me out of this stupid slump and let me get to that mystical place of killing my inner editor that I still haven’t managed to reach. I could write something entirely unrelated to Saguarde and Shaden because I love them to pieces but when you’re 200k into a story there’s a lot of pressure to do it justice…
Okay, I’m gonna go do an epic music writing hour. I go to this youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eqjpbj61eKk and I write whatever comes into my head for the full hour of it. Right now – no more blogging until I do it. 😀
Ally